God Is Fathering Us

I recently wrote a post about my dad turning 50, and the reflections I had of fatherhood in general. I have been extremely blessed with the father I have, but I know that there are many, too many, that aren’t as blessed.

The lack of a father figure in homes today is, in my opinion, the cause of most of society’s problems. I recently read a book called, To Own A Dragon: Reflection of Growing Up Without A Father by Donald Miller. In the back Don gives the following statistics:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes—5 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes—20 times the average.

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes—14 times the average.

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes—9 times the average.

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes—10 times the average.

70% of youth in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes—9 times the average.

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes—20 times the average.

I’m saying all of this for two reasons:

1. We as followers of Christ need to step up and fill this gap. At a minimum, we need to be getting involved with our childrens’ lives. But we also need to reach out to all of those kids who are growing up without that father figure. If that means mentoring, then do it. If that means adoption or foster care, then we should be stepping up. We know what these kids need, and we can give it to them!

2. For all of those that might be reading this that grew up in that situation yourself, you need to know that although you might have had a bad earthly father experience, there is a true and loving father available to you 24/7. Below is a talk Don gave last year at Mars Hill Bible Church about his book.

God Is Fathering Us — Donald Miller (Don begins at 11:50)

Like Father, Like Son

My wife took me to see The Police at Phillips Arena two Sundays ago, as a birthday gift. The show was great! The band hasn’t skipped a beat. Individually, as well as a band, they all have been, and continue to be excellent musicians, and performers. Sting, Andy Summers, and Stewart Copeland blew the roof off the place. They engaged the crowd, 12,000 on the second night, no matter where you were sitting.

That brings me to the real story.

Father of the Bride

Last year I was 27 years old with a wife of 4 years and a one year old daughter.
This year I’m 28 years old with a wife of 5 years, a 2 year old, and another on the way.

Somewhere along the way I became a parent and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. I mean it’s not like I’ve been absent in my family or the upbringing of my daughter. Quite the contrary. Sure my 2 year old says ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’ and we’re working on ‘Excuse me’ instead of ‘Move!’ I must say however, I’ve taken much joy and pleasure in focusing my attention on having her walk up to adults and administer a judo chop in the back of the knee, or announcing ‘PADOW!’ in showing off her new ballerina slippers, teaching her how to turn on and off my distortion pedal on my pedal board or how to smack a snare drum and let it ring 🙂

Again, I’m 28 so a majority of my friends have all gotten married by now (or swore to stay single forever!) It was the wedding that my wife was in a few weeks ago though where the realization of being a parent truly set in!

AC180 Interviews: Aaron Conrad

If you take a look to the left hand column of our site, you will see that Mr. Conrad is a regular contributor here at AC180 … In fact, Aaron is one of the co-founders of AC180 and much of this site is his brain-child. Aaron’s story is one in which a new son teaches a young father about unconditional love, grace and daily taking up his cross in order to further his heavenly Father’s kingdom. Enjoy.

Explain the situation surrounding your complete 180?
I had the absolute blessing of growing up in a Godly home. I was saved early in my middle school years and have probably been saved more times then I can count since then. Yet I would say that my journey with Christ truly began 7 years ago with the birth of our son Austin. My thirst, and desire to serve and be the husband, father, friend and man that Christ has called me to be became relentless about 2 years ago….

Podcast Update – A Father’s Interview

I posted this on my blog site today also, but it is very appropriate for this great site. I’m also very curious what “interview stories” are out there…

I am a dad of 2 beautiful girls, and I am dreading the whole dating scene. Being a former “dater” and “boyfriend” myself, I know what goes on in a young man’s mind when at the age of dating. I remember one “interview” I had with one girl’s dad I was dating. He basically took me into his office where he had some hunting trophies on his wall, pointed to a bare spot on the wall, and said, “that spot is reserved for YOUR head, if you do anything with my daughter.” Yeah, not gonna forget that talk anytime soon…
Luckily, I have acquired my grandfather’s shot gun and have it on standby in order to get the attention of the boys who attempt to come “a-courtin”. Comedian Ken Davis has the whole father-dating issue figured out. He says, “…use the shotgun on the first boy that comes calling for your daughter. Leave the body on the front porch as a deterrent for any other boys that may come along. They will come to the house, see what’s on the porch and say, ‘Nope, she ain’t worth that!!!’ ”

Ok, I’m not going to shoot anyone (hmmm), but one of the activities I plan to employ as a father is the old “date interview.” I actually plan to have some fun with them, but at the same time address a very serious issue of dating and my daughters. The shotgun will definitely be within eyesight of any boy that is brave (or insane) enough to ask me to date one of my girls.

The reason this has come to mind is that this week Dennis Rainey of Family Life Today has been going through a radio/podcast series about interviewing your daughters date. (I encourage you to download the podcasts for this week from their site! – they are great!) In the last broadcast, he presented the 8 points to interviewing your daughter’s date, which he has covered in his book – “Interviewing your daughters date.” Here are the 8 points Dr. Rainey emphasis when talking with your daughter’s date:

Point #1 – “A woman is God’s beautiful creation to be treated with nobility, kindness, care and respect.”

Point #2 – “The attraction of a young man to a young woman is both normal and very good.”

Point #3 – “I understand and remember the sex drive of a young man at 18 is really like.”

Point #4 – “I’m going to hold you accountable for your relationship with my daughter. (I reserve the right to ask you any questions I want!)”

Point #5 – “I challenge you as a young man to set a different standard for this relationship than the world would. (You will guard my daughters innocence, sexually and emotionally.)”

Point #6 – “I want to respect the dignity of my daughter by keeping your hands off my daughter.”

Point #7 – “Do you understand everything I have just said? Can we shake on it?”

Point #8 – “When you are a dad, I challenge your children someday to abide by these standards and to interview their dates.”

Even though I realize that I won’t be dealing with this issue for another 37 years, (ok, 13… maybe) I understand that my girls need me to be prepared for that time when I do meet their dates, and I can only be prepared through God’s grace and wisdom. I am already praying for my girls’ future husbands, that they will be Godly men and proper leaders for the home they will establish. But I know I must also take an active approach to protecting my girls during that very difficult (and getting more complicated by the day!) time of growing up.

For any of you fathers out there, any suggestions or stories you may want to share would be greatly appreciated! And for you young and new fathers, we all in this together, so let’s lift up each other in prayer.

And meet at the shooting range on Saturday for a little practice…