Last year I was 27 years old with a wife of 4 years and a one year old daughter.
This year I’m 28 years old with a wife of 5 years, a 2 year old, and another on the way.
Somewhere along the way I became a parent and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. I mean it’s not like I’ve been absent in my family or the upbringing of my daughter. Quite the contrary. Sure my 2 year old says ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’ and we’re working on ‘Excuse me’ instead of ‘Move!’ I must say however, I’ve taken much joy and pleasure in focusing my attention on having her walk up to adults and administer a judo chop in the back of the knee, or announcing ‘PADOW!’ in showing off her new ballerina slippers, teaching her how to turn on and off my distortion pedal on my pedal board or how to smack a snare drum and let it ring 🙂
Again, I’m 28 so a majority of my friends have all gotten married by now (or swore to stay single forever!) It was the wedding that my wife was in a few weeks ago though where the realization of being a parent truly set in! Typically, as we’re sitting and enjoying the company of friends and family at a rehearsal dinner or reception and toasts are going about with cups raised high and speeches are being made, I’m reminded of my day as a groom and I find a great affiliation with the guy getting married. On this wedding however, the groom did nothing for me and instead it was during the father’s toast that I got lost among the chatter and background noises and left reality for about 5 minutes. I realized instead that I would be that man in about 20 years. Standing there with my 2 year old daughter in an expensively beautiful dress and another guy who she’s madly in love with while I raise a glass of champagne! I think I’m becoming a parent! I think I just got my first gray hair by thinking I’m becoming a parent!
Seriously though, I think this is changing my prayer life and my perspective. Just as my wife and I have a responsibility for the physical wellbeing by providing her food and exercise, mental wellbeing by providing her a great education and support and materials but as well as a spiritual wellbeing. This may be a no-brainer for some or irrelevant for others but for some reason this is a big light switch that flipped on for me!
Chloe Pre-wedding Day
A Complete 180 
I have two daughters, 7 and 3 (but i’m younger than you!) and I know exactly what you mean. It’s pretty awesome and overwhelming to think about. I am most pleased that I had a daughter before a son –i’m still working on the son thing– because this sort of realization of having to toast your daughter away to another man hits home differently than having to teach your son to flee from sexual immorality.
Obviously, there is more to it than that for both the son and daughter, but I really believe for me personally, having a daughter first helped me see the weight and importance of being a strong spiritual leader in the home.
I am with you brother. I had a son first (7) and now have 2 girls so I have had those glimpses as well. It’s funny because I was going to post these lyrics as a post, but they fit nicely with your post. It’s the latest from Van Zant and goes exactly with what you’re saying. Even the gray hair LOL.
That Scares Me
Once I had a fortune ridin’ on the shoe
Of a field goal kicker from LSU
I never broke a sweat
Hell, it was just a bet
Now, I’ve climbed mountains
And jumped from planes
Even played chicken
With a couple trains
Lord, I’ve been a fool,I still kept my cool
I don’t mind admittin’ this heart a mine
Starts to pound thinkin’ bout
The day my son starts askin’ me
All about my history
The things I don’t want him to know
The sex, the drugs, and rock-n-roll
Or the first time I watched my daughter
Climb in some boy’s car as I holler
“Honey, don’t be late”
I swallow hard while they drive away
How sad my life without my wife would be
Now that scares me
This mornin’ while I combed my hair
I found a few stray grays in there
And I laughed out loud
I guess I ain’t that proud
Some people are afraid to die
But me and Jesus get along all right
I’ll be okay cause my judgement day
Will be
The day my son starts askin’ me
All about my history
The things I don’t want him to know
The sex, the drugs, and rock-n-roll
On the night I walked my daughter
Down the aisle in a stiff white collar
Just a view, they’ll say
But who gives this girl away
And leave her standin’ while I find my seat
Now that scares me
The things I don’t want him to know
The sex, the drugs, and rock-n-roll
And the day they call another house their home
I’m hopin’ they find everything that they need
How sad my life without my wife would be
Now that scares me
Oh, that scares me
Sorry, forgot the linkage to the song itself. You can hear on their myspace site – http://myspace.com/vanzant
Wow! Dude thank you for that! What are you trying to do get me all choked up?!?!?!
That’s awesome. Even the 1st verse!!! “A field goal kicker from LSU!” Hahaha
Thanks seriously, I’ve never heard of VanZant. Those choruses slam me in my chest of all the things I was thinking about that night at the wedding rehearsal dinner!
It is a big responsibility you have as a parent. As I finish school my wife and I are talking about starting the rest of our family. I look forward to the day that your realization gets to hit me.
I’m 28 + 20(21 in a few weeks). I have three step-children, one of which still resides at home. She is 13(going on 3 or 30 depending on the weather). It has been just recently that I have begun to realize how much she really relies on me. The father relationship is the relationship that humans desire so much, and visa versa with Him. We don’t hold a candle to His level of desire though. He sacrificed His Son. We try to comprehend that. It is the Christian relationship with the Father.
Not trying to plug my site, but if you want another glass of cold water as a father, check the lyrics to “Cinderella” then hit Steven Curtis Chapman’s myspace site (myspace.com/stevencurtischapman) and listen to it. There’s also a country song called “Stealing Cinderella” that is killer.
She’s cute! As a new dad, I’ve gotten a ton of wonderful parenting tips from http://www.dadlabs.com/. It’s a terrific recourse; I highly recommend it.